8-17 Reasons not to be the drunk taster in the bunch

First, let's all look back at the few (or many) things we've done that we wish we could forget, or forget again in some cases. I think its safe to say that for most of us who have occasion to imbibe, our least impressive moments have been when we were way past tipsy. Its enough to make us all rethink that next drink.

Here are some examples from my days working hospitality at the winery:

One Saturday, we had a guest come in to return 3 cases of wine. When asked why, he claimed that he had accidentally bought the $800 worth of wine yesterday. He said he had come in hoping to buy just one, but they were all so good. I remembered him from the day before; he and 3 buddies came in late in the day for a tasting. They had finished a week of business meetings and taken the day off for some wine tasting. BV was their fifth stop of the day and I could tell they had enjoyed each one to the fullest. Five wineries, a tasting at each, let's say conservatively that's 3 two ounce pours per winery, or 6 ounces of wine. A glass of wine is 4-5 ounces, and they'd probably had 30 ounces of wine, so that's over 6 glasses or 1.5 bottles. Their taste buds were shot. Even two-buck Chuck would taste great after that much vino!

Another Saturday when I was greeting people at the door, a young man came in with a beer in his hand. He'd already tasted so much wine that he'd made the switch to a new bevvie and was so far gone that he'd obviously forgotten he was in wine country and not Vegas. When I kindly told him that it was illegal for him to bring in an outside beverage (not to mention illegal to have been walking outside with an open container), he took another swig. I then asked him to either leave the building or throw it away. He tried to argue with me, but could barely put together a sentence. Noticing that my slight build was not very threatening to this guy, one of the wonderful gentlemen I work with came over to give me a hand with him. He escorted him to the trash can, but our stubborn drunkard refused to throw the beer away. This all led to a call to the police and the guy being taken away in a cop car. Napa jail is no way to end a great day of tasting.
Last but not least of the best of the worst stories involved a group of ladies tasting for a bachelorette party. About half way through my pouring for them, one of the girls noticed that someone was missing. After they checked the bathroom, and the gift shop and the parking lot, someone decided that they might have left her at the last stop. We called down the road to the last winery they'd visited, and sure enough she was there. Their limo driver went to pick her up and the other gals finished the tasting. It turned out that she had slipped into the bathroom during their tasting at St.Supery and actually fallen asleep in one of the stalls!

A positive thing to note, but definitely no reason to get drunk on your next Napa visit is that winery staff do sometimes end up benefiting from the drunker guests, as drunk people are often more generous and lively. I received an invitation to be someone's date at a wedding, a $50 tip from a group of men who has done the free tasting, an offer to use someone's time share with all the contact information scribbled on a napkin, one marriage proposal, and many, many invitations for dinner and drinks.

I kindly refused all of these, of course, except that $50 tip! Who could blame someone who makes $11.13 an hour?

There are a few important take away from this little diddy:

1)Winery staff are legally forbidden to pour for you if you are drunk. I had to deny serving a few folks in my day, and it looks very embarassing!
2)Someone has to stay sober and drive, and I say the rest of the crew should buy that person a bottle or two for their trouble. You can still taste, just spit! You'll look so "wine snob" if you are a spitter.
3)By really tasting instead of drinking, you'll be better suited to decide which wines you like enough to buy on your trip and your head will be happier after it!